LOVING THE WRONG WAY

Hey guys. It’s a new month. The festive season is here and what better way to get Into the festive mood than to talk about love.

The thought process behind this post is the rate at which I hear people say it’s possible to be in love or love someone and love that person the wrong way. I’ve never really been able to wrap my head around that.

We often tell ourselves that we are loving the wrong way but are we really doing that?

The truth is in the world we are in now love is perceived differently by different individuals and as such certain people feel they are doing it the right way probably because everything is going perfectly. On the other hand, some people think their relationship is in shambles because they’re probably loving the wrong way.

Its time to see a different perspective of the word “love”.

There is a myth that there is a wrong way to love but there is little or no clarity on what the wrong way might be.

– Is there really a wrong way to love?

Love is viewed as a strong feeling of affection, loyalty and concern for someone. Love is seen beyond looks, appearances and so on but those can be added bonuses to what you subscribed for apart from the connection you both have.

There is no two ways about love. It is either you are loving or not loving. You can’t be on the fence. It is possible to love someone and not get the love in return from your partner, this is a part of many shortcomings in a relationship and it is your responsibility to act and not compare any relationship to your own because PERSON Aand B’s relationship is totally different. You need to communicate. Communication is the key, a relationship does not come with a manual. There is no harm letting your partner know how you feel, what he or she is doing wrong and how things could be better.

-Is there really a way to love your partner?

I feel with all sincerity that there is no particular way to love your partner. You are in control, you set the rules and boundaries. There are different ways to express your love, it doesn’t have to be cliche like the soap operas on TV. It is between you guys – no one needs to know your business or how you handle things in your relationship.You have the authority to define the right way to love your own partner.

DISCLAIMER: IM NOT A LOVE EXPERT OR A RELATIONSHIP CONSULTANT.

So back to the topic – “Loving the wrong way”, Is there a wrong way to love?.

I honestly think there is no wrong way to love. Loving someone is directional. Its either you are loving or not. There is no loving the wrong way, It is either you were attracted to the person for the wrong reasons which is drastically fading away or you were having a passionate desire for someone and  their attributes.

So my dear readers, love is not a duty done with a cold soul; neither is it expressed in cruelty or one that doesn’t express itself at all. Love is a feeling that expresses itself in action. It is directional.

Like I said, this is how I feel. I’d like to know how you feel. Share your thoughts with me.

41 Replies to “LOVING THE WRONG WAY

  1. This is a great post. I agree with keeping your relationship between you and your partner and working things through . I also like the love languages book and the authors perspective there.

  2. I would definitely agree that you can’t be on the fence about love: either you do love, or you don’t. But I do think we can mistake other things for love because we have yet to experience the real thing. I also believe that we can make poor choices when we love, choices that can harm the person we love or damage our relationship.

    So while you can’t change the feeling itself, perhaps when we look at loving (the verb) as a set of behaviours that are triggered by our emotional closeness to another person (the noun), we could make an important distinction. Love (the noun) can’t be right or wrong: it just is. But the way we express that love and the way we interact with the target of our love (the verb) can certainly go very wrong. It’s something we must learn to do, in order to have health and nurturing relationships.

  3. Great post.. Definitely no neutral ground when it comes to love but it should be noted that there’s no standard to how love should be felt or given. It’s a unique feel for everyone experiencing this feeling.

  4. Going along with the love languages book, I don’t think you can love the wrong way, but I do think you need to be mindful of your partner’s love language. If his/her love language is words of affirmation but you just keep giving them gifts and forgetting to use words of affirmation, they may not feel the love! Many times we use our love language to show love to others, when it may not be their love language.

  5. Some people call it love and have no idea what real love is . I am kind of over it . You are so right people love in different ways but some use “love” as an excuse to stay stuck with people or out of comfort. it is supposed to be a beautiful experience and as you said not like a duty

    1. Yes Tachira, love is meant to be a wonderful feeling. There’s lots of misconception but love is supposed to be awesome and not a chore. Thank you for your feedback.

  6. THANK YOU!!! Yes. One relationship is not going to be the same as the next. Here
    Is another THANK YOU!!!! Soap operas are on tv. Our relationship is not scripted. Love this post as you can tell I guess.

  7. I completely agree on the communication part. Without that there really is no love. I’ve been married over 10 years, had our ups and downs and I’ve learned its when we don’t communicate is when we have issues. Awesome post thanks for sharing.

  8. ”It is possible to love someone and not get the love in return from your partner, this is a part of many shortcomings in a relationship and it is your responsibility to act and not compare any relationship to your own”

    God bless you for saying this. Just what I needed to read. ❤

  9. I do agree that it is up to an individual to determine how they desire to express their love. We all show love differently and we all have different love languages. Yes, you either love someone or you don’t. There is no wrong way to love, you may just need to learn how to love the person exactly how they want to be loved. I believe that love is an identity, when you love someone, you always love them.

  10. Love is focused more on the other person than it is on oneself. I don’t always practice that….self can get in the way, but at my core, that’s what i believe the true essence of love is!

  11. Another interesting post
    I haven’t read all of your blogs but you write about interesting topics
    We communicate differently and express romance in different ways but love is a very deep feeling. Love is expressed in different ways like you said so there is no wrong way to love.
    Sometimes people are addiction to somebody and they think that they are in love when really it’s just an addiction to a fatal attraction. Loving the wrong is an addiction so to me there is no such thing as loving the wrong way, there is only one way to love
    Nice blog

    1. I totally agree with your point of view. I feel people need to recognise this become more aware of what they actually feel. Thank you for the feedback. Means a lot.

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